human contact

last night i was out having dinner alone, by the beautiful mediterranean sea during sunset.. as i was enjoying the view, i teared a little, because this would have been a really nice experience to share, yet the seat in front of me stayed empty.. then 2 tables away, the waiters brought a cake with a bunch of sparklers on it, and in the noise of drums and guitars, they sang happy birthday while the bday girl danced to the "music". everyone was enjoying themselves, and i found it fun too! their sillyness brought a smile to my face! then the tears came again.. somehow i felt lonelier than usual among these festivities and i couldnt wait to get out of that place. the waitress was slow to get my check, but luckily the celebration died down..

been in a bad mood since i got to israel this time.. not foul, but i noe i don't feel good.. when people saw my tired and unhappy face and asked me if i were ok, i'd say that i was jetlagging in the first week, and that i was down with a flu and din sleep well in the second week. was really busy these two weeks, hardly had any time left to breathe, any time to talk to anyone about non-work related stuff, any time to chat with people online.. i wished i had a friend here. not that i have 0 friends here, but in this case they dun really count. i'm not sure if u understand.

but anyway, with or without friends, i need to start feeling optimistic about my life! somehow bring back the sun! okay shall go put on a nice skirt, feel pretty and get out of my room to get some food and sun now! :)